No shit, there I was; having lunch with someone who shall remain nameless when the topic turned to my schooling.
That Guy: "How's school going?"
Me: 'Pretty good, I'm one class away from completing my degree, but I still have a few other classes to take as pre-requisites for PA school."
TG: "Cool, got any professors you like?"
M: "Yeah, they're all OK for the most part. There's one who is kind of a dick. A bit abrasive and at times a little condescending or over bearing, but he at least knows what he's talking about about."
TG: "Oh, man, Classic Ass Burgers!"
M: "Huh? What the hell is that? Is that what you're ordering?"
TG: "No! Your professor sounds like he has the classic symptoms of Aspergers!"
M: "Oh yeah? What makes you say that?"
TG: "Well, he's rude and doesn't seem like he understands other peoples emotions, lacks empathy, but is very intelligent. Classic!"
M: "..."
TG: "What?"
M: "You know you're in absolutely no way qualified to make that diagnosis, right?"
TG: "Oh, and I suppose you are since you are almost done with a psychology degree? College isn't everything you know! I've read plenty of articles and I have a copy of the DSM-IV!"
M: "Oh, man, Classic Syphilis!"
TG: "What!?"
M: "Sounds like you have the classic signs of neurosyphilis! You're forgetful, have depression, and are obviously irritable."
TG: "So that means I have syphilis!? You have no basis for that! How would you even know?!"
M: "Well, I have access to the internet and to a variety of texts on diseases. So I've decided that's what you have."
TG: "You aren't a doctor, you have no idea!"
M: "College isn't everything, you know."
TG: "Whatever."
This conversation wasn't out of the norm. In fact, TG and his associates tend to hand out psychological diagnosis like they're free candy. Candy coated in SSRI's and anxiolytics, probably. They do it often enough that I'm surprised TG doesn't carry a pocket guide on him so he can quickly reference which disorder he intends to foist upon the next unsuspecting person like an overly aggressive store clerk... who also tells everyone that you're autistic. What a terrible store.
Psychology (and to a lesser extent, Psychiatry) hasn't been a science for terribly long in the grand scheme of things. It also isn't considered a "hard" science in the sense that there are unfortunately few lab coats, no beakers, and usually very little in the way of fire or explosions. All of this tends to foster a view that Psychology is somehow a "lesser" science, with little in the way of hard facts, rules, or laws. And if that's the case then nothing can truly be "wrong" since its almost impossible to prove anyway. Add in the dearth of pop psychology articles, poorly conceived "psychological thriller" movies, and all of those fucking e-mail chains about how "you only use 10% of your brain!" and you can start to see why, while no one will watch a few episodes of Breaking Bad and try to be a chemist, all sorts of pricks will read a few headlines and promptly go Freudian on your ass.
So what does it matter? Well, it matters because wandering around telling people that someone has a mental illness when they don't is the same as running around screaming that they have herpes. You don't know, you have no business knowing, and if you had either of those you wouldn't run around doing that because you'd be a fucking doctor, or you'd have herpes yourself. Maybe both.
Mental diseases and disorders are complex things, some we understand fairly well, others we don't, and then there are even more which we once thought we understood, but now realize that we do not. They also tend to be incredibly stigmatizing. Did you know you are 9 times more likely to be murdered by someone without Schizophrenia than by someone with the disease? The fact that you're more likely to get stabbed by almost anyone other than someone with Schizophrenia doesn't change the fact that people with the disorder are treated as ticking time-bombs best left locked up and medicated. Hmm... "ticking time-bomb," why does that description sound so familiar...
Gee, it's almost as if even correct labels can make life difficult for people. And the prevalence of how often psychological terms are used as throw-away descriptors doesn't make it any better. How often have you heard someone say, "Oh, I'm OCD about keeping my desk neat." Really? You suffer from either an obsession consisting of unstoppable distressing and intrusive thoughts regarding the cleanliness of your desk and or feel a physical compulsion to perform rituals relating to such, the absence of which causes you distress? No? Then you don't have OCD fuck-wad. The misuse of these terms may seem like a little thing, but it causes a societal attitude that tends to either be patronizingly dismissive of mental health conditions or so overly-fraught with anecdotes and misinformation that it harms the sufferers of these illnesses.
Psychological and Psychiatric diagnosis is hard. There are few biological markers that are able to be tested in a living human and there are severe limits as to what can be achieved via brain imaging and testing since your average hospital doesn't have the millions it takes to purchase an fMRI let alone the millions more required each year just to maintain the damn thing. And that's not even taking into account the number of times they'll have to scram the magnet because someone forgot that giant super-magnets and ferrous metals don't mix.
The lack of those concrete biological or physical markers for many mental illnesses can often lead to misdiagnosis even by well educated and highly experienced providers. The fact that insurance companies have essentially incentivized giving someone a diagnosis by equating that label with payment certainly doesn't help either, but that's a topic for another discussion.
So if it takes decades of training and experience to become a licensed Psychologist or Psychiatrist, and they can still get it wrong sometimes, then what makes TG think he can pop off a diagnosis simply by reading off a check-list of symptoms from the DSM?
Personally, I'd blame the Internet and Narcissism, but if my almost-degree in Psychology has taught me anything, it's that I don't know shit about Psychology, and neither do most people.
